hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
