I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
