dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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