careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
