I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Randomize
