Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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