so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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