Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
