I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
