apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
