Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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