some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
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