I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
