there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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