Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
