Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
