great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
