Well now I have my semen on her headphones
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
