omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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