I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
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