The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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