He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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