Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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