She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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