you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
