i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
