It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
