Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
NoShamevember. You game?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
