She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
