i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
