Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize