Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
