My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
