well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
