I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I have feelings that need drinking.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
