we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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