I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
