I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Randomize
