What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
