She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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