And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
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