What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
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