My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
