what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
