super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
