Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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