I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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