OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i just google imaged poop.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
