I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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