Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize