these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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