how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I showed him my bush... on skype.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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