He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
