stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
