Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
