Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
