Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
