There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Is it penis luge time yet?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Randomize
