What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize