it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
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