Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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