Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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