Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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