It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
